My Mood, My Choice
It’s dark still. I’m awake. What day is it? Oh yeah, it’s Monday and it must be 4:30 am. Sure enough, it is. Time to get up and drive. My husband grabs his bag and we head out the door. His dishes are on the table, again. His shoes are in the way, again. We get in the pickup and the radio is not on MY station, again! I shut the door firmly behind me. Why can’t he just respect my choice of music? It’s just a fifteen minute drive, I determine to do this without saying anything and starting a pre-dawn fight.
Once on the interstate I looked down to check the dash. That’s it! He’s changed my display, again! GRRR I confront him on it! Why is it so hard to just leave it where I like it? I demanded of him. He looks at me surprised and says, “Honey, just put it back.” I vent…. vomit really… angry words all over him. They fill the cab of the pickup with their sharpness and pile up all around me. I’m shocked. Why am I so angry? I don’t like how I feel! I don’t like how this is making him feel!
Then this thought bursts upon me like a beautiful, playful, sparkly, rainbow covered bubble in the middle of a bright summer day. How I feel is my choice. I didn’t have to feel this way. In fact, I’m going to choose to NOT feel like this!
In simply acknowledging the emotion and deciding it wasn’t for me, the negative charge left and I apologized to my husband. He told me he couldn’t figure out what he’d done.
Instead of focusing on things that upset me, I egand to think about what I was thankful for and saying them in my head: I’m so thankful that I have to get up at 4:30am because it means I get to take my husband to dialysis, a procedure that is keeping him alive. I’m so thankful that we have a safe, warm vehicle to travel in. I’m so thankful that the clinic is less than fifteen minutes from home and we don’t have to travel hours. I’m thankful that we have this as a choice. I’m so thankful… for so much. I’m thankful we have so many choices available on the radio! I’m thankful we have a warm home, food and dishes for my husband to dirty in the morning. I’m so thankful ….
By the time we reached the clinic and I dropped him off for his four hour treatment, I had learned an amazing lesson. When I was in that negative space of what is he doing wrong, I found proof everwhere. When I took responsibility for myself and started listing my blessings, my whole day got better! He had every right to pick what station he wanted to listen to and to pick what setting for the display worked best for him. It was the first time that I realized that me expecting him to change that station back to accomodate me was actually quite selfish. Huh. I had never seen it quite like that before!
My mood, my choice. I wasn’t angry with my husband that morning, I was tired. It isn’t always easy, but it is always satisfying to recognize when I’m not enjoying something and simply move away from it. The most amazing key to accomplishing this is to start listing my blessings or what I’m grateful for. I’ve been doing this for several months now and it’s empowering! Road rage? No thank you. I’m so thankful we have an interstate that quickly gets me to where I want to be. I’m so thankful that I can cross state lines daily without even thinking about it! I’m so thankful my favorite coffee kiosk is just over the bridge from my house. Doctor keeps me waiting 30 minutes past my appointment time, that’s ok, I’ll take this time to catch up on a book, podcast or nap! After all, I want that same doctor giving me all of the time I need to discuss what’s going on, so I’ll grant it to those before me 🙂
That wrong done to me, the one I can’t defend against or understand why, that one I can acknowledge and release like the beautiful bubbles of summer! Maybe, just maybe, that person was just simply having a hard time. My mood, my choice and I choose to not let it get to me. When it dances across my thoughts, I quickly imaging blowing bubbles in the summer sun and away it goes with them. I’m so thankful for bubbles! I’m so thankful for childlike giggles! I’m so thankful that I could share this adventure with you!
Web Author & Instructor
Tammey has over 20 years’ experience in business and team development. As one of nine children, she quickly learned to read people and situations and to rely on her inner guidance. Her love of photography and scrapbooking led her to start an online community where she taught weekly classes to a global membership. Tammey uses her gifts and knowledge of coaching techniques and essential oils combined with a heart-centered passion and genuine love of people to encourage and uplift her students and clients. She is a Certified BestLife Coach and an Aroma Freedom Technique practitioner.